5 Steps To A More Loving Relationship With Yourself
I’ve touched on this topic a few times already BUT this is by far one of the most important, game-changing topics there is.
If you truly want to have a loving, healthy, successful life, then you need to believe that you are worthy of having it!
Did you know that at the route of pretty much every one of your fears is the illusion that you are unworthy of love?
Whether it’s abundance, getting that promotion, becoming healthier, finding a loving partner, buying a new house… it doesn’t really matter what the game is… what it really comes down to is do you believe that you are worthy of it?
It’s so easy to create a story, or multiple stories, that you aren’t good enough, loved or loveable.
Just know that these are just stories and fears. And more importantly that you are NOT alone!
Literally, every single human has felt at some point in their life that they aren’t worthy of love. Which actually makes sense, seeing as we are all here to grow in love for ourselves and others.
I think it’s also important for you to know that these fears and illusions have and in many ways, are still serving you. They are actually helping you become more conscious and spiritually awake. They are also helping you take more responsibility for your life and to have the courage to wake up.
Here’s how the illusion of unworthiness creeps into your life…
Before you are born, you are this little buddha like spiritual-superstar, where you know that you are love, that nothing is missing and that you are worthy of having, being and doing anything and everything that your heart desires.
What happens though, is that when you choose to come to earth, you have to play by the human rules, and this is where things get a little tricky, lol.
As soon as you are born you are taught the illusion that love comes from the outside and that you need others to survive. Which makes sense because you literally need your parents to survive.
As we grow up though, we start creating these stories that we aren’t good enough, that we aren’t smart enough and that we aren’t worthy of being, doing and having what our heart desires.
Most of these stories actually get stored and created when we are in primary school (or even before).
A very common example I see in my clients is when a new sibling is brought home. The oldest often feels like ‘what is wrong with me’ and creates a story that they aren’t good enough.
There are a billion ways this could play out. You are the youngest and can’t keep up with your older sibling and feel like you aren’t good enough and not loveable. You go to school and can’t read so you feel stupid and therefore you are unloveable. You have a friend and all a sudden they move away or find different friends… You aren’t worthy… I think you get the point.
What happens though, and why this is important to us now, is that we actually store these emotions and feelings.
So now when you are trying to get the promotion, the relationship, the house, your health on track, etc. you are actually reacting based on old stories, opposed to acting from your heart.
The key to living a successful, amazing life is to listen to your heart and then act on it. Clearly, if you don’t believe you are worthy of doing either of those things, it’s going to be pretty hard to get what you want.
So here’s a list of simple things you can do to help increase your self-worth and remove those old stories.
These may seem simple but trust me they really do work.
1. Be mindful of how you are talking to yourself.
Whenever you catch yourself with any negative self-talk, stop, take a pause and if possible write it down.
This will help you become more aware of the beliefs you have and possible fears and blocks. Just by bringing awareness to this, it will help you start to make some conscious shifts.
It’s important to be gentle with yourself and be ok with not being ‘perfectly loving’ all the time. This is a process.
Side note: When you notice negative self-talk creep in you can actually say ‘stop’ or ‘cancel’ and then consciously choose a more loving thought. Still, take time to write it down though.
2. Talk to yourself in a loving way. Actually saying “I love you” to yourself is huge! It sounds silly, but it actually works.
This may seem weird at first but that’s ok!!
You are loved and worthy of love, the truth is you just might not fully believe it yet. This will take time but you have to start somewhere.
3. Treat yourself like your own best friend.
How you treat yourself says a lot!
I personally find journalling to be super helpful. When I’m stuck or frustrated I try and respond the way I would as if it were my best friend coming to me looking for advice.
4. Take actions steps on what it is that you want in all areas of your life.
Start taking action.
If you have always wanted to sign up for painting classes then do it! If you really want to join a Monday yoga class then do it!! Start listening and then ACTING on what it is that your heart wants.
This is a great way to increase your self-worth.
5. Take time to dissolve these illusions/stories that you are unworthy of love.
You can start by asking what stories are currently holding you back.
If you aren’t sure how to do this try reading books, going to seminars, or finding a coach or a mentor to help you.
This is my specialty, so feel free to pick my brain on this one too. I’d be happy to help.
At the end of the day, find some comfort in knowing that you are here to learn to love yourself and experience this trip on planet earth as much as you can through the highs and lows so that you can grow in wisdom. Be present with who you are and understand that you are unfolding at exactly the right speed.
You are so loved… enjoy your journey! 🙂