4 Steps To Deeper Trust In Your Relationships

Happy Valentine’s Day!

The key to having a great valentine’s day is to know that it’s just a day like any other. And that just like any other day, it’s a great opportunity for you to grow in love and wisdom.

Whether you are single, in a long-term relationship, dating, or anything in between; whether you get super pumped for valentine’s day, could care less or hate it, just know that you are worthy and deserving of having, doing and being anything and everything that your heart desires.

Another cool thing about valentine’s day is that if you choose, it can also be a great opportunity for you to go deeper into your relationships (this includes with yourself).

At the core of every meaningful relationship, and what you are truly looking for in that relationship is connection. And at the foundation of connection is trust.

So really in order to deepen your relationship and your connection, the key is to build and nurture trust!

Trust is interesting, especially in terms of a romantic relationship, because often when you lose trust, you also lose feelings of intimacy and feeling good (infatuation and butterfly type feelings) in the relationship.

One way you start to lose trust in your partner or in a relationship is when you are scared to share and say what it is that you want because you are afraid of being rejected.

Another way you lose trust is when you feel that when you do speak your truth you are not being heard or listened to. Often this leads to a feeling of isolation and you lose trust in your ability to speak from your heart and trust in knowing that your partner is doing the same.

One way that you can foster trust in a relationship is by facing challenges together. If you look at the other person as just as important as you, your words will reflect that. The key is to create an open dialogue where you are both able to feel heard and feel equally important.

One way to do this is by speaking in terms of You, Me, Us.

YOU – this is figuring out what that person needs, where they are at (understanding where they are at).

ME – share your needs, wants and where you are at

US – speak in terms of both of you together

For example, “I understand you want me to support you emotionally right now. Me on the other hand, I have so much on my plate I feel like I can only give you an hour a week right now. What can we do so you feel that I love and respect you and I hear you but so that I also feel that you hear, love, and respect me so that we have a good relationship?”

By discussing how you feel about it and listening to what they have to say too and making sure that both of you are heard and feel important, it’s a great opportunity to grow more in trust and intimacy.

This is also a great exercise to learn how to truly love by making yourself just as important as your partner.

A side note: You are not responsible for how anyone else reacts. You are responsible for your reaction and actions. The key is to pick a partner who is open to putting in the work with you. For more tips on a consciously loving relationship, check out my past blog “5 Tips to Having a Consciously Loving Relationship”

Here are a few more tips on how to build and strengthen trust… (both with yourself and others)

  1. Get clear on what it is that you want and be honest with not only yourself but others.  For instance, if you hate eating at that one restaurant but are going along with it just because, that’s not you being honest. Speak up!
  2. Listen! Be open to listening to both yourself and others.  Often we do a good job listening to others but ignore what it is that we actually want.  Start paying attention to what is really being said.
  3. Have courage.  Take action and do whatever it takes to follow your heart.
  4. Speak in terms of You, Me, Us.

You can use You, Me, Us for your romantic relationships but also for any relationship.

Just know that by going through challenges together and working through them both individually and as a team, you are growing in love and wisdom and also in trust.

This is a journey and takes time. Enjoy the process:)

Love & Light,

Andrea

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