One question that I’ve been getting lately is, what’s the number one thing that has been most game-changing for you in your relationship.

My partner Mel (of 11+ years) and I  each contributed to answering this question based on what we individually found to be the most game-changing thing that has contributed to the success of our relationship.

Mel graciously went first.

According to Mel, one of the biggest things that have elevated our relationship and made it that much better was having tools to help us communicate effectively.

At the beginning of our relationship, she didn’t feel like she had the skills and the tools to articulate some of the things she was experiencing, whether it be regarding money, health, family, goal setting etc.

For Mel, learning the tools to help us to be able to have more loving, open conversations about anything has been a game-changer.

One of her favourite communication tools is the You-Me-Us.

Being able to respect each other and talk in a way where you can lovingly say what you want to say without getting all worked up and being able to receive whatever your partner is experiencing as well is huge!

I totally agree with Mel!

You-Me-Us has been a game-changing tool! It has helped both of us to be able to communicate our needs while also being respectful and working together as a team.

This is key because there are two fears that lead to arguments in relationships.

1. Fear of being abandoned (losing the other person).
2. Fear of being engulfed (losing yourself).

These subconscious fears can cause you or your partner to hold back from communicating lovingly.

Having tools to help you to be able to bypass and mitigate those fears is essential!

As for me, the most game-changing thing is being a conscious partner and making yourself AS important in the relationship.

If you become consumed in the relationship and don’t make a conscious effort to still do the things you love to do, it can lead to you feeling ‘engulfed’ or ‘consumed,’ leading to disconnection.

The key is to discipline yourself to be connected with your partner while also doing the things you love for yourself.

Add communication in the mix, and these two things have allowed us to increase our confidence and continue to grow both individually and together!

It takes work to continue to grow and co-create together, but it also takes ‘work’ to have an ok relationship.

You might as well challenge yourself to have an epic relationship!

If creating a life that you love and sharing it with someone you love resonates with you, we would love for you to join us on June 12th for our 1-Day (Virtual)  Love Mastery Workshop.

In this workshop, you will learn how to implement essential communication tools and strategies to have a more consciously loving relationship and practical exercises and resources to help you co-create an epic life!

We would love to see you there!!

For more info on how to register email [email protected] or online at https://andreaparkercoaching.com/love-mastery

Ps. Please share this with those who may resonate with this. We would love to have them there as well 🙂

 

 

One of my highest values is to live a life that I am So in love with and help other fun, inspiring and driven individuals do the same.

For many of my clients and me, a big piece of creating a life that you love is also sharing it with someone you love.

I’m really excited to team up with my partner Mel and co-create to help others have more consciously loving relationships.

You don’t have to settle for a good relationship; you are worthy and deserving of having an extraordinary relationship.

We intend to provide you with more tools and resources so you can have that loving relationship, both with yourself and others.

Mel put me in the hot seat for today’s blog and asked this…

“How can you tell if you are in love with the person, or you’re just in like with the person?”

This is such a great question and one that we have been getting asked a lot lately.

This can be related to relationships and also with business or other areas of your life.

Love is different than like.

When you love someone, you’re willing to embrace both sides. Both the ‘positives’ and the ‘negatives.’

Confusing love with infatuation is one of the biggest mistakes people make in relationships. This is something I learned from my mentor Dr. Lise Janelle and through doing my Heart Freedom Certification.

Love is both support and challenge (seeing both simultaneously), whereas like is only choosing to see one side of a person.

Often, we expect our partner only to support us or be nice to us and only do what we want them to do.

The reason for this is that when you’re younger, you expect your parents or guardians just to give you everything that you want, and you’re not responsible for giving it to yourself.

This becomes an unconscious expectation.

When you get what you want, you feel like you are loved. When you don’t, you feel like what’s wrong with me. These are old patterns and beliefs that are based on an ‘unconscious’ relationship.

The ideal type of relationship is a consciously loving relationship. This is more loving.

When you’re in a consciously loving relationship, you know that there will be both support and challenge, good and bad. You are willing to both support and challenge your partner and vice versa.

In my opinion, the best way to know that it’s a loving relationship, as opposed to “like,” is that you are willing to see both sides of that person, and you’re willing to love them unconditionally for all of who they are.

For example, if you have children or a pet, it’s easy to see that it’s not all positive, all the time. There is both support and challenge in the relationship.

If it’s pouring rain and freezing outside, odds are you don’t like walking your dog, but you do it because you love them.

The same thing is true with a consciously loving relationship. When you love someone, you are willing to embrace both sides: the ups and downs, the good and the bad.

If you are looking for your partner to be this perfect person and only one-sided, that’s unattainable.

Likewise, if you are looking for yourself to only be one-sided in a relationship, that is also an unwinnable game.

You have to willing to see both sides of your partner AND show up fully as yourself.

When you do this, it will allow for more love to come into your life.

If you are looking to elevate your relationship and have an even more consciously loving relationship, join Mel and me for our Love Mastery 1-Day Workshop.

You will learn how to be a more consciously loving partner and how to co-create from a place of love and inspiration.

Click here for more info… https://andreaparkercoaching.com/love-mastery

 

Feeling connected is the key to fulfillment.

Whether it’s in your career, your relationship with yourself or others, when you feel connected, that’s also when you feel most fulfilled, meaningful, and inspired.

And likewise, when you feel disconnected from yourself, your partner, or the work you do, that is often when life feels most unfulfilling.

Feeling disconnected will not only lead to you feeling like you are on this journey alone; it also decreases your self-worth and confidence—two key ingredients to living an amazing life.

With that being said, I wanted to share something that my partner Mel and I have incorporated into our relationship that we started about three months ago.

This has been a game-changer for us and has helped us connect more with ourselves and each other.

Before we started doing this, we were having a hard time juggling both of our businesses and transitioning our work-life-balance. We found that although we spent time together, it wasn’t always quality time.

We made efforts to plan date nights, but we found that there was too much pressure to come up with a great idea that it took away from the point, which was to connect.

So to solve that problem, we created Connection Night.

The whole intention behind connect night is to connect. If it sounds simple, that’s because it is!

The simpler, the better!

Our intention is primarily to connect more and enjoy! The key is showing up and being present!

We have a non-negotiable date and time on the calendar, and during this time, there are no phones or electronics.

Sometimes we’ll explore new places, go for a hike, try something new, and sometimes we’ll just sit and chat.

The key with connection night is that it’s not meant to be big and elaborate. Remember, the simpler, the better!

This has been a game-changer for us and is now one of our favourite nights of the week!

If you are looking to elevate your connection with yourself or others, the best place to start is to consciously carve out time for it.

Make it a priority and treat it as such! There is so much power that comes from showing up and being present.

What is your favourite way to connect?

Lots of Love,

Andrea

 

One of the most challenging times in a relationship is when you and your partner are both experiencing challenges simultaneously.

This past weekend at the Heart Freedom Method “Train the Trainer” weekend, hosted by Dr. Lise Janelle, this was one of the topics that popped up that I think is very relevant, and I wanted to share with you.

As individuals, we experience ebbs and flows (ups and downs, highs and lows).

Similarly, our partners experience their own ups and downs.

When you and your partner are both “up” together, that’s a fun place to be!

This is often where you feel supported, successful and like things are going well.

The next best place to be is when one of you is “up,” and the other is “down.”

The reason for this is that even though one partner may be stressed out, fearful, challenged, etc., the other is in a “good” place where they can help them navigate it and bring them up.

And vice versa.

The most challenging time in a relationship is when both partners are ‘down’ or challenged at the same time.

And here’s why…

Often when people are stressed, they default to old patterns and past behaviours rather than showing up consciously.

I often see that people revert to the first imprint of love that they experienced, which in most cases was with their parents or guardians.

As a child, when you are stressed or upset, you look to your parent to soothe you and make you feel safer and loved. This is a “need” based relationship, not a consciously loving one.

Fast forward to adulthood and (insert current challenge), it’s like a button is being pushed and rather than showing up as yourself, you act the same way you did when you were younger and expecting your partner to soothe you and make you feel safer and loved.

Then on top of that, if your partner is also ‘needing’ you, it adds to more stressors in the relationship.

So how do you navigate this?

The most important thing you can do is to take control of your own life.

Consciously give yourself what is it that you want someone else to give you.

For instance, ask yourself, what is it that you want your partner to give you right now? Is it love, attention, space, money, etc?

Next, ask yourself, how can you give that to yourself?

This is the key to a consciously loving relationship.

By taking control of your life (including your career, finances, social, spiritual, knowledge, environment, physical), you show up as a conscious co-creator, rather than ‘needing’ your partner to be the source of your happiness.

This is where you have to have the courage to admit to yourself what you want and then start taking action steps towards it.

Another key thing that you can do when you and your partner are both being challenged at the same time is to seek help from someone outside of the paradox.

Ideally, someone who can help you see the big picture, such as a coach, mentor, a trusted friend, etc.

If this is you and you are looking for more information on navigating this, please reach out to me at [email protected]. This is one of my specialties, and I love helping people have more consciously loving relationships.

In the meantime, I would love for you to comment below and let me know what’s a big challenge that you’ve been navigating and would love more guidance on.

Lots of love,

Andrea