In pursuit of unleashing your greatness and living the life that you know you’re capable of, it can sometimes feel like you don’t always have the intimate relationship you would love with your partner.
This is important because relationships often are one of your highest values. And when you have a healthy, loving relationship that will impact other areas of your life.
When you feel like you have a close, healthy, loving, intimate relationship, you often feel more connected, supported and like you are on top of the world.
On the other hand, when intimacy has been put on the back burner because of lack of time, energy, or life in general, life can sometimes feel lonely. Typical internal dialogue may also include second-guessing yourself or your relationship, feelings of ‘shoulds’ or ‘ought to’s’ and sometimes even guilt. This may lead to feeling needy, insecure or fearful, all of which are emotions that take you out of your heart.
One of the critical reasons for lack of intimacy in consciously loving relationships, especially if you have young children or a new career/business, is that it can consume you.
Let’s use business as an example, as it’s a common one for many high-performers.
Picture two circles, one of which represents you, and the other one represents your new business.
What often happens, especially in the first few years of starting a new business, is that you pour all your time and energy into what you are doing. You take little time for yourself and become consumed with what you do.
When you do this, the two separate circles actually become one, and you can lose yourself in your business. If you have young kids, you’ll likely see the same thing happen there.
Once you become engulfed with your career, business, kids, etc. what happens is when your partner comes into the picture, it can feel ‘unsafe’ on a subconscious level for you to be intimate because you don’t want to lose yourself completely.
And just know most of this is happening on a subconscious level, so you likely won’t know that the reason you aren’t feeling inspired to be intimate or you feel too tired, not enough time etc. is likely because of a fear that you don’t want to lose yourself.
One of the best things that you can do to shift this to have a more intimate relationship is to create more space and time for yourself, especially in the area of life where you are being ‘consumed’ or, in other words, giving all of yourself.
If you are spending all your time on work, it’s essential to take time away from it and do something for yourself. Likewise, if you are giving all your time and energy to your kids, it is vital for your relationship that you take time away from your kids (even if it’s for a short time).
When you do this instead of the two circles overlapping, they intersect slightly and allow for a more balanced, loving relationship. This will enable you to feel safe and be more open to being more intimate.
Step one in becoming more intimate is to take time for yourself. Write it down, carve out time, and start taking action on it. If you’re getting stuck and find that you aren’t doing it, you may have a limiting belief holding you back.
A common theme I often see is feeling guilty for taking time for yourself, or the need to be hustling, to survive and thrive.
Just know that taking time for yourself is one of the most loving things you can do for yourself and your relationship.
If you’re looking for more tips and advice on consciously loving relationships, check out my website at www.andreaparkercoaching.com/events.
I would love to support you wherever you are in your journey to take your life, love, and happiness to the next level.