What do you do when you feel like others aren’t respecting your time and boundaries?

A few weeks ago my friend, who has a successful Osteopath clinic, shared how a few of his clients were consistently going over their scheduled time and how this has been impacting his business.

This is important because if you aren’t owning your worth and making yourself as important,  odds are, others won’t either.

This principle applies to business as well as with relationships with friends and family.

So, how can you effectively own your worth and ensure that those around you respect and value your time?

There are three ways you can show up.

You can be Passive.

You can be Aggressive.

Or you can be Assertive.

My friend, in this instance, was being passive.

Rather than ensuring his appointments ended at the allotted time, he was allowing his clients to stay and chat for as long as they liked. And in one extreme case, the client would stay over an hour past his scheduled appointment.

By being passive and not speaking his truth, his business and his well-being were both negatively impacted. For instance, he was increasingly late for clients and started to lose customers; he regularly missed his lunch, after the sessions, his energy felt depleted, and his confidence had decreased.

By being passive and not speaking his truth, he was making others more significant than himself.

This is a principle that Dr. John Demartini teaches.

When you are passive, it always leads to being aggressive.

Imagine a spring. Every time you are passive and making someone else more important than yourself, it’s like putting more pressure on the spring, until eventually there’s too much pressure, and it bursts open.

When this happens, it leads to you becoming aggressive.

When you are aggressive, you act out the opposite and make yourself more important than others.

In this case, my friend was becoming aggressive with himself. He was angry and hard on himself. He was also becoming aggressive by not wanting to take on those clients anymore.

Aggression can look like lashing out, but it can also look like leaving or taking off.

I see this often in relationships or with a career. Someone puts up with something for so long and eventually gets fed up and just leaves.

The key to navigating this situation in a loving way is to be assertive.

When you are assertive, it means you are making yourself as important as others.

Not more important or less important, but as important.

When you are doing this, you are coming from a loving place.

Many people think that by only supporting others, they are being loving. The truth is love has both support and challenge, not only one side.

By just ‘supporting’ his client, my friend wasn’t loving himself or them.

What was happening was the opposite effect.

By undervaluing himself and overvaluing his clients, he created an imbalance in the relationship, which led to resentment and anger, resulting in him not wanting to help that client and vice versa.

In this case, being assertive could look like having a conversation with the client about the time. If the client continues to go overtime, charge them for that time.

The key is to both support and challenge. That is loving!

Whether it’s business, relationships, etc., the key is to do both!

The more you can be assertive, the more you’ll increase your self-worth and confidence and the more you’ll attract people who respect and love you for who you are!!

I invite you to take a quick look at your life. Where are you being passive or making yourself less important?

Also, ask yourself, where are you being aggressive and making yourself more important?

Rather than stopping yourself from being aggressive, try and find out where you are being passive and focus on taking baby steps towards being more assertive in that area.

If you are looking for more guidance on owning your worth, you can register for a free 1:1 clarity call with me.

In the meantime, I’d love to hear about what area of your life you would love to be more assertive in. Comment below 🙂

 

When you are working towards manifesting a goal, dream, or desire, there are three simple steps to bringing it into reality.

Janet Attwood describes these steps as…

Intention

Attention

No Tension

Step one, Intention, is where you consciously state what it is that you want. What is your goal, dream, aspiration, etc.? This is about getting clear on the “what.”

Step two, Attention, is where you get into action and do whatever it takes to move your goal forward.

Step three, No Tension, is where you do the best you can and then let go of the outcome.

No Tension is all about having faith and trusting the process, which is mastery level stuff. And also where most people get stuck!

Instead of focusing on high-priority action steps and holding the vision of their dream, many people get caught up in having to continue to push and try to force the results.

One of the primary reasons for this is that they don’t believe it’s going to happen.

And because they don’t believe it will happen, they’ll try to make it happen, which looks like ‘doing, doing, doing,’ pushing, pushing, pushing and hustling, etc.

And what often happens is that they create the opposite results.

The truth is if your subconscious mind is not on board. If it doesn’t believe it’s going to happen, then it’s not going to happen.

This can be a very frustrating process, especially if you’re doing the first two steps, right.

You know what it is you’re working towards and are taking inspiring action, but then it’s not coming true.

Many of us get stuck in the trusting process because it’s scary to let go. This is also rooted in past subconscious beliefs and often feelings of unworthiness.

So how do you navigate this?

One way to move forward is to link benefits and pleasures to you achieving your goal or desire.

Somewhere along the line, your subconscious mind associated this goal with not being safe or not “good” for you.

Linking pleasure or benefits to achieving this desire will help you feel safer, especially on a subconscious level.

The next thing you can do is look at where else this is showing up in your life? Where else are you finding it challenging to trust the process?

Is there a theme where you are experiencing a lack of trust showing up in other areas?

If you’d like more information on how to go deeper with this and identify and release specific subconscious beliefs that are holding you back, you can register for a free 1:1 clarity call with me.

On our call, I’ll help you create clarity on what your heart wants, identify what’s holding you back, and help you develop strategies to reach your goals much faster successfully.

Even if I’m not a fit to guide you, I will point you in the direction of some resources to help you get to the next level.

Click here to register for a Free 1 on 1 Clarity Call with me.

 

A common theme I see among many successful individuals is this feeling like something is holding them back from reaching the next level of success.

Just know that if you too have ever felt like you are ‘stuck’ or like something is holding you back, or even like you are ‘self-sabotaging,’ that this is common and that you are not alone!

The truth is, in pursuit of living your most amazing life, it can feel like you are holding yourself back because of beliefs that you may not even know that you have.

So how do you know if you have a subconscious fear or belief holding you back?

Here are three clues:

The first clue you have a subconscious fear or limiting belief is knowing what you want to be doing, and you’re not doing it.

Let’s use health as an example. You know you want to be eating healthy and working out, instead of doing that, you’re eating like crap, and you’re not moving at all.

You know what you need to be doing, but you’re not doing it.

The second clue is you know what you need to be doing, and you are doing it, but it feels like resistance or way harder than it needs to be. It’s an internal struggle.

You know, you need to be eating healthy, you know you want to be working out, you’re doing it, but it is way more challenging than it needs to be. It feels like so much resistance.

You know what you need to be doing, and you are doing it, but there’s resistance.

The third clue is you know what you need to be doing. You’re doing it. But you’re getting the opposite results.

You’re eating healthy and working out, but you feel like crap, and you’re in worse shape, or you feel exhausted and unhealthy.

Or, you want to double your finances, and you’re losing money, OR you want more freedom, and you are working more than ever and have no work-life balance.

You know what you need to be doing. You’re doing it. But you’re getting the opposite results.

If you are procrastinating, it’s not because you are lazy; subconsciously, you believe that there will be more pain than pleasure.

In order words, if your subconscious mind, which is in charge of your survival, has associated more danger than safety, or more pain than pleasure with something you consciously want, it will do everything in its power to not let you get it.

This is why it’s essential to identify if you have a limiting belief!

For more information on how to take the next step in identifying and releasing your limiting beliefs, check out my FREE video course where I will walk you through my four-step process on how to do just that.

Click here to register.